By Vanessa Wolf Tony Bennett is not only real, he can croon. Too bad for the fictional “most interesting man in the world.” Get an earful of the 87-year-old icon’s stylings next Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. when he plays the MACC’s Castle Theater with his daughter Antonia Bennett . As for the title...
Sea House’s Happy Ho...
posted by Vanessa
Can you name all the items associated with the “12 Days of Christmas” song? Neither can we. But supposing we could, surely some of those gifts were real stinkers. Lords a-leaping? Can you even return those guys? And even if you can, thanks for the chore, True Love. Maybe a gift card next...
Feral Cats Weigh in ...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: SATIRE… MOSTLY. Most of this is utter nonsense, but some of it near the end is actually founded in fact. By Vanessa Wolf A public forum focusing on issues surrounding feral cats and chickens on Maui is planned for tomorrow night. With respect to the issues at hand, Mayor Arakawa...
Tommy Bahama: You [M...
posted by Vanessa
What would you pay for a massive serving of baby back pork ribs with a sweet and spicy blackberry brandy barbecue sauce? $30? $40? What if we also gave you a serving of intensely buttery whipped chive potatoes with that? Before you answer: what if we were to throw in some outstanding Asian...
Monsanto Attempts Bo...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: SATIRE. The following is intended to give you a break from the heave ho that is life. For the most part, if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t. By Vanessa Wolf The multinational biotechnology corporation often makes worldwide headlines for its Roundup brand, an herbicide that...
Home Maid Cafe Bring...
posted by Vanessa
As you might recall, in earlier chapters of the story, the protagonist spends her time seeking out a wide variety of food venues across a magical land known as Maui. From corner to corner, our heroine follows numerous woodland paths, sky-high beanstalks and white rabbits, only to encounter...
Casanova’s Restauran...
posted by Vanessa
There’s a reason Casanova’s Italian Restaurant has been in business for nearly 30 years. Décor aside, it’s Maui’s answer to the Olive Garden: somewhat Americanized, but reliable Italian fare. When in Rome… er… Makawao, it’s best to start with the standards. The Calamari Fritti ($10) arrives...
Joy’s Place Is a Bun...
posted by Vanessa
This one goes out to all the meat-eaters currently dating, married to or traveling with vegans in the hizzouse. Prepare to become a hero. It’s called Joy’s Place, and it’s in Kihei. Located in a close-to-The-Cove-yet-difficult-to-find-unless-you-know-where-you’re-going-already location, it’s...
Bouts of Common Sens...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: Satire. By Vanessa Wolf “I don’t know how to describe it,” she explained, visibly shaken, “but I suddenly realized: jumping off this thing is incredibly stupid. I mean, we’re talking a 75-foot leap of faith here. I could cripple myself. Heck, I could DIE.”Despite owning a copy ofMaui...
Like Poke? Just Migh...
posted by Vanessa
Like a lone revolutionary, Like Poke? stands out against the rusty landscape on a daunting stretch of Hobron Avenue, shunning crowds and convention and defying you to continue to drive around as a growing conviction in you says you’ve made a wrong turn. You haven’t. Still, unless you’re a...
Juanita’s Puts the ‘...
posted by Vanessa
Juanita’s Mexican Restaurant has materialized in the space the former KFC on South Kihei Road left behind. Similar to offerings typically found in Southern California taco joints, Juanita’s boasts an extensive Mexican take-out style menu. We decided to dive into the deep end and start with...
Tips for Surviving T...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: satire By Vanessa Wolf Sources report she has chosen the form of a middle-aged woman with a beehive hairdo. It’s unclear whether or not she is wearing glasses on a chain around her neck or just an unusual blouse.Over the warm waters of the eastern Pacific Ocean, Tropical Storm...
Stewart’s Burgers Of...
posted by Vanessa
Stewart’s Burgers currently occupies the spot that used to be Fat Boy Burgers (and before that was a fish and chips place) in the Kukui Mall on South Kihei Road. It also seems to have stuck with Fat Boy’s same lots o’ burgers with clever names a la carte state of affairs. But whatever. It’s...
Brian Regan Shares t...
posted by Vanessa
Clean-cut, family friendly comedian Brian Regan will be performing at the MACC on Saturday, June 29 at 8:30 p.m. Known for material that explores the humorous side of everyday events like shipping a package with UPS or a visit to an optometrist. Regan’s clean, off-center humor has been...
Five Palms: All That...
posted by Vanessa
If you like your happy hours crowded with options and other people, Five Palms Beach Grill in the Mana Kai Condo building in South Kihei will likely put a smile on your face. The desirable prime time happy hour seating area by the bar fills up fast and stays that way. Expect service to be...
Choice Health Bar Ma...
posted by Vanessa
Alright stop whatcha doin’ ’cause I’m about to ruin The image and the style that ya used to. Was Shock G foreshadowing the existence of this acai bowl – aptly named “the O.G.” – when he uttered these words back in 1990? Obviously, the answer to that question is “yes.” If you are a person who...
Wow Wee Maui Kava Ba...
posted by Vanessa
If lots and lots of words made a restaurant excellent, well, disregard, because that’s obviously silly. Let’s start with the good news: the “Ren’s Sushi” part of the alphabet soup is really quite solid, filling in a notable gap in Kahului dining options. The location on Dairy Road is...
Saigon Seafood: You ...
posted by Vanessa
Let’s set the scene, shall we? It’s early November. You’re not in a good head space. You want to stay in bed but you’ve made a commitment to meet with a celebrity chef to discuss a potential project. Your mind a whirl, you don’t notice many details as said chef drives you to a little hole in...
Ice Cream Truck Fire...
posted by Vanessa
Editor’s note: The article below is purely for entertainment purposes. (Although an ice cream delivery truck really did catch fire near Launiupoko on Monday.) What started as a favor to Reuben Mattus, the founder of Haagen-Dazs, melted down yesterday morning in frozen confection flames, as...
Ko May Bestow You Wi...
posted by Vanessa
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to be invisible, grab a seat at the bar at Ko at the Fairmont Kea Lani and find out. It could be unfailing bad luck. It could be that the kama’aina deal (50% off food and 25% off drinks) is only offered at the bar and some sort of “you get what...