It’s the season of mandatory evacuations and hurricane parties, and there’s nothing quite like cocktail simplicity when contemplating the seaworthiness of your Charleston single. We asked three celebrated local mixologists to craft something new using the three ingredients of...

Much like a night spent consuming them, the origins of the margarita are a little bit hazy. On the one hand, Carlos “Danny” Herrera claims to have invented the drink in 1938, when a picky customer came into his Tijuana restaurant wanting a mixed drink made with tequila. Add to him...

For nearly 70 years, South of the Border in Hamer has been a welcome pit stop or overnight host for weary drivers traveling up and down the I-95 corridor. But before the roadside landscape from Virginia to Georgia was brimming with miles of colorful, humorous ‘come hither’ billboards, there...

Arguably the most outspoken – if not the bravest – comedian in the business, Bill Maher brings his droll political observations to Maui this New Year’s Day. His annual Aloha Live Stand Up Tour is now in its fourth year and offers ticketholders the opportunity to experience his unparalleled...

By David Kvasnicka Vanessa Wolf  of Maui Now has been nominated for a national award for food journalism by the Association of Food Journalists. The AFJ selected Vanessa Wolf as one of three finalists in the ‘Best Restaurant Criticism’ category for her reviews of eating establishments on...

There’s nothing quite like the thrill of anonymous fuming via the internet, is there? Last week’s blurb about Taco Bell’s forthcoming venture into breakfast spawned a whole lotta grumbling and one “I can’t wait for Vanessa’s review!” What’s that? A request? A dare? A double-dog dare? A Cheesy...

Love him or hate him, outspoken political comedian Bill Maher returns to Maui for his third annual show this January 1, 2014. We caught up with him to chat about his past, politics and pakalolo. Maui Now: The last we met, I had an outstanding view of your rear end as you were running from me...

Boz Scaggs, a man we thought had a long white beard like Gandalf but apparently does n0t, will be playing a solo show at the MACC’s Castle Theater this Thursday, Nov. 14 at 7:30 p.m. Scaggs is described by promoters as “both a musical seeker and a man of sizable talent as a singer, songwriter...

As a thick layer of vog continues to plague Maui, a group of local residents opposed to the pollution have organized a sign-waving event to raise awareness about their plight. “This has got to stop,” said watery-eyed Kihei resident Susan Johnston. “I can barely breathe, I get horrible...

Procrastinators, take heart. Just because tomorrow is Halloween and you don’t have a costume, doesn’t mean you can’t come through in the final hours. We have five simple, semi-timely and super cheap DIY ideas for you. 1. 50 Shades of Gray Head to Home Depot, Lowes,  or the paint section of...

Blues artist Kevin Moore, or Keb’ Mo’ as he’s more commonly known, is a three-time Grammy Award-winning blues musician. The singer, guitarist, and songwriter is described in his JamBase biography as “a living link to the seminal Delta blues that travelled up the Mississippi River and across...

Reports indicate that area whales were outraged to learn that a recently migrated humpback known as “Skippy” was spotted on Saturday morning, gallivanting about two miles from Molokini. Upon hearing the news, one particularly incensed whale was overheard commenting, “Skippy screwed up...

By Vanessa Wolf Tony Bennett is not only real, he can croon.  Too bad for the fictional “most interesting man in the world.” Get an earful of the 87-year-old icon’s stylings next Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. when he plays the MACC’s Castle Theater with his daughter Antonia Bennett . As for the title...

WARNING: SATIRE… MOSTLY. Most of this is utter nonsense, but some of it near the end is actually founded in fact. By Vanessa Wolf A public forum focusing on issues surrounding feral cats and chickens on Maui is planned for tomorrow night. With respect to the issues at hand, Mayor Arakawa...

WARNING: SATIRE. The following is intended to give you a break from the heave ho that is life. For the most part, if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t. By Vanessa Wolf The multinational biotechnology corporation often makes worldwide headlines for its Roundup brand, an herbicide that...

WARNING: Satire. By Vanessa Wolf “I don’t know how to describe it,” she explained, visibly shaken, “but I suddenly realized: jumping off this thing is incredibly stupid. I mean, we’re talking a 75-foot leap of faith here. I could cripple myself. Heck, I could DIE.”Despite owning a copy ofMaui...

WARNING: satire By Vanessa Wolf Sources report she has chosen the form of a middle-aged woman with a beehive hairdo. It’s unclear whether or not she is wearing glasses on a chain around her neck or just an unusual blouse.Over the warm waters of the eastern Pacific Ocean, Tropical Storm...

Clean-cut, family friendly comedian Brian Regan will be performing at the MACC on Saturday, June 29 at 8:30 p.m. Known for material that explores the humorous side of everyday events like shipping a package with UPS or a visit to an optometrist. Regan’s clean, off-center humor has been...

Editor’s note: The article below is purely for entertainment purposes. (Although an ice cream delivery truck really did catch fire near Launiupoko on Monday.) What started as a favor to Reuben Mattus, the founder of Haagen-Dazs, melted down yesterday morning in frozen confection flames, as...

This is where you can put the disclaimers that none of this is real, not that it will do any good. (Thanks, that’ll work. -Ed.) Having learned that Paia was voted “Eighth Happiest Seaside Town in America,” resident and trust-fund baby Stephan Higgs became incensed. “Eighth place isn’t...

Seems the Lahaina Banyan Tree is about to turn 140. How do we know this? Well, legend has it the tree was originally planted by the sheriff on April 24th, 1873 to mark the 50th anniversary of the establishment of the Protestant Mission in Lahaina. But is that really the “birth” of the tree?...

Oh, how we pray you will read this part before diving into the sea of words below and realize THIS IS NOT TRUE AND MEANT IN FUN. Court records indicate Charles “Chip” Carlson has filed a restraining order against a migratory humpback whale currently believed to be residing off the west coast...

Just a little amuse bouche for your brain. In other words, this is satire intended to entertain, thus its location in the arts and entertainment section. Last week, the US Attorney’s Office announced that a former US Army officer living in Hawaii had been charged with disclosing classified...

But if this were true. It isn’t. We wish it were true, but it’s really just a little Arts and Entertainment piece that you will hopefully find entertaining or at least slightly amusing. Special thanks to my dad and his mad Photoshop skillz. Hawaii loves Spam. Although made in the Midwest,...

It’s been almost a month since someone last robbed the First Hawaiian Bank in Pukalani. We bet there are a few of you out there thinking “third time’s the charm” and possibly considering your own hit. Sure, you have a dirt bike and some camouflage pants. Perhaps your lady has been whining...

From the mind of Donavita Quixota-Wolf: Sorry to bother you, but I’m in the midst of a great adventure: spreading chivalry, righting wrongs, and slaying beasts. There’s something terrible here amongst us, and I need to gather others to the cause. I think you can help. So here’s the story: I...

The confirmation that the February 26 power outage at the Kahului Airport was caused by a chicken found inside a transformer in the rental car area validated investigators’ worst fears. A spokesperson commented, “For several months now, there has been talk of a renegade band of...

The Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau (HVCB) recently launched a month-long marketing blitz in New York and Chicago, two of its largest markets, both of which they identified as being on the “East Coast” even though the one that starts with a “C” is actually in the Midwest. Seriously....

Once again, dear friends, this has been posted in “Entertainment,” which is to say it’s meant to entertain you.   Yet again, the airlift crews have been called out to the Bamboo Forest. We’re not judging the whos, whats, hows or whys of that situation, but it did seem like good timing to...

You are not an accountant. Nonetheless, despite your pledges that THIS is the year you hire a pro, there you are on April 15th: installing TurboTax, sweating bullets, rifling through mountains of paper, and drinking heavily. We’ve been there. More than once. However, our pain is your gain. We...

Phil G. 250 affordable housing units!? We can’t have that. Absolutely not. It’s a bait and switch if I’ve ever seen one. Let me paint the picture:  do you know what they mean by ‘affordable’? They mean “projects.” You heard me right: projects. I have an inside source who has tipped me off,...

***Editor’s note: this article is purely satirical and in response to a Maui senator’s proposed law to enable celebrities to take civil action against the paparazzi or anyone harassing them in Hawaii (roughly speaking). That proposed law is called the Steven Tyler Act. And no, Vanessa Wolf is...

First off, let me say I’m not just some jerk with a lot of opinions about whether or not marijuana should be legalized, or given away as a free gift when you open a bank account, or smoked in movie theaters, or put on the flag in the place of those little stars. Well, I am saying that, but I...

**Editor’s note: This article is based on yesterday’s story about a woman who was arrested after falling through the ceiling of Kihei Police Station.** It’s always alarming when someone unexpectedly crashes through the ceiling of a police station, and we sincerely hope everything works out...

Award-winning comedian Margaret Cho is bringing her new show “Mother,” to Maui’s Castle Theater on Friday, Feb. 8. We talked to the often controversial and always funny comedian about her show, her childhood aspirations, and what she’d order for a last meal. Maui Now: So your new show is...

*BEFORE READING:* Nothing about this story is true, unlike the recent story about the time capsule that was discovered under the old Wailuku Post Office (1/22/2013). Ralph and Louise Tanaka of South Kihei were shocked to discover a time capsule underneath the dilapidated shed outside their...

Dear Would-Be Olowalu to Iao Valley Hiker, It has come to our attention that you keep trying this, despite the preponderance of words like “certain death,” “impossible,” “beyond stupid,” and “Darwin Awards.” Speaking of which, we can’t help but wonder if the ancient Hawaiians started the tale...

Maui Chef Sheldon Simeon of Star Noodle in Lahaina continues to shine on Bravo’s Top Chef, not just for his culinary prowess, but for his undeniable and seemingly unflappable sweetness and charm. The season started on Nov. 7 with 24 hopeful “cheftestants” and is now down to just six chefs...

Toubab Krewe is an instrumental group known for creating music that blends together American rock, African traditions, jam sensibilities, and international folk sounds. The group’s instruments include a kora (21-string harp-lute), kamelengoni (12-string harp-lute), soku (Malian horsehair...

Hawaii-born Kaui Hart Hemmings, author of “The Descendants,” will be on Maui this weekend as a keynote speaker at the first annual Aloha Writers Conference in Kapalua. “The Descendants” focuses on Matthew King, a wealthy Hawaiian land trust administrator. His missionary ancestors purchased...

Maui-based actress, body painter, Next Level Productions owner, and UltraViolets burlesque troupe creator Rachel DeBoer is nothing if not versatile. She performs with the UltraViolets as part of tomorrow’s TEDxMaui event, and took a little time to talk with us about who she is, how she got...

Vanessa Wolf is fond of her front teeth, but after learning she’s unlikely to lose them, she may very well give this roller-skating thing a shot. By Vanessa Wolf This Sunday at 3 p.m. at the Kahului Boys and Girls Club, the Maui Roller Girls are recruiting for their 2013 season and no skating...

Oregon-raised, Nashville-based singer-songwriter Mat Kearney plays the MACC on Friday, January 18. Best known for his songs “Ships in the Night,” “Nothing Left to Lose,” and “Breathe In Breathe Out,” Kearney took a little time after picking his parents up at the Nashville airport to talk to...

Stand-up comedian, political commentator, and television host Bill Maher performs next Tuesday, Jan. 1 at the MACC. We discovered a slightly more lighthearted side of the acerbic host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, when we talked to him about elephants, time travel, and really bad...

It’s Veteran’s Day Sunday! Cook up some food, sit down at the table, and force the youngsters to listen as you reminisce about the war. Fresh out of battlefield tales? Celebrate another four years with Hawaii’s own Barack Obama at the helm by cooking up some of his family’s favorites. Barack...

Any holiday celebrating the dead – and particularly the undead – is (hopefully) intrinsically gory. Why stop at costumes and decorations, when your food can be gross too! Spice up dinner or your neighborhood get-together with these easy, entertaining, Halloween-themed additions from Maui Now....

Realizing you have Halloween plans…but nothing to wear? Have no fear: throwing together an awesome last-minute costume has never been easier. We took the liberty of turning to the best sources of fodder for Halloween ideas – pop culture, hit films, and embarrassing political moments – to...

“When dealing with aliens, I gave them everything ?except the kitchen sink.” This is how artist Jefferson Stillwell summarizes his painting; “Aliens Want My Donut.” Stillwell arrived here on Maui eight years ago. “The island breezes, the colors of the water, the smell of the air: it was...

Within a few days, most leis have withered into something rather sad-looking. Not so with the feather-based creations done by Pattie Hanna and her students. Those students took  home nearly a dozen blue ribbons at the 90th annual Maui county fair, it is clear Hanna’s goal is coming to...

Rachel Helmich of the Maui Tattoo Company started tattooing in 2001, when her then-boyfriend – now husband – approached her and asked if she wanted to learn. “I’d graduated from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, and had enrolled in an engineering program.” Helmich explained. “We’d gotten to...