Comedian Bill Maher Comments On Maui’s Monsanto Predicament (Maui Now) Dec29

Comedian Bill Maher ...

Arguably the most outspoken – if not the bravest – comedian in the business, Bill Maher brings his droll political observations to Maui this New Year’s Day. His annual Aloha Live Stand Up Tour is now in its fourth year and offers ticketholders the opportunity to experience his unparalleled...

Vanessa Wolf Nominated for National Food Journalism Award May28

Vanessa Wolf Nominat...

By David Kvasnicka Vanessa Wolf  of Maui Now has been nominated for a national award for food journalism by the Association of Food Journalists. The AFJ selected Vanessa Wolf as one of three finalists in the ‘Best Restaurant Criticism’ category for her reviews of eating establishments on...

Taco Bell’s New Brea...

There’s nothing quite like the thrill of anonymous fuming via the internet, is there? Last week’s blurb about Taco Bell’s forthcoming venture into breakfast spawned a whole lotta grumbling and one “I can’t wait for Vanessa’s review!” What’s that? A request? A dare? A double-dog dare? A Cheesy...

Bill Maher Talks Shyness, Politics and Pakalolo (Maui Now) Dec08

Bill Maher Talks Shy...

Love him or hate him, outspoken political comedian Bill Maher returns to Maui for his third annual show this January 1, 2014. We caught up with him to chat about his past, politics and pakalolo. Maui Now: The last we met, I had an outstanding view of your rear end as you were running from me...

Boz Scaggs Returns to Maui (Maui Now) Nov10

Boz Scaggs Returns t...

Boz Scaggs, a man we thought had a long white beard like Gandalf but apparently does n0t, will be playing a solo show at the MACC’s Castle Theater this Thursday, Nov. 14 at 7:30 p.m. Scaggs is described by promoters as “both a musical seeker and a man of sizable talent as a singer, songwriter...

Local Activists Plan Pollution Protests (Maui Now) Oct31

Local Activists Plan...

As a thick layer of vog continues to plague Maui, a group of local residents opposed to the pollution have organized a sign-waving event to raise awareness about their plight. “This has got to stop,” said watery-eyed Kihei resident Susan Johnston. “I can barely breathe, I get horrible...

Last-Minute Super Cheap Halloween Costume Ideas (Maui Now) Oct30

Last-Minute Super Ch...

Procrastinators, take heart. Just because tomorrow is Halloween and you don’t have a costume, doesn’t mean you can’t come through in the final hours. We have five simple, semi-timely and super cheap DIY ideas for you. 1. 50 Shades of Gray Head to Home Depot, Lowes,  or the paint section of...

A Talk With Legendary Blues Musician Keb’ Mo’ (Maui Now) Oct13

A Talk With Legendar...

Blues artist Kevin Moore, or Keb’ Mo’ as he’s more commonly known, is a three-time Grammy Award-winning blues musician. The singer, guitarist, and songwriter is described in his JamBase biography as “a living link to the seminal Delta blues that travelled up the Mississippi River and across...

Whales Outraged Over Spoiled Surprise (Maui Now) Oct09

Whales Outraged Over...

Reports indicate that area whales were outraged to learn that a recently migrated humpback known as “Skippy” was spotted on Saturday morning, gallivanting about two miles from Molokini. Upon hearing the news, one particularly incensed whale was overheard commenting, “Skippy screwed up...

Tony Bennett Is the Most Charming Man on Earth (Maui Now) Sep15

Tony Bennett Is the ...

By Vanessa Wolf Tony Bennett is not only real, he can croon.  Too bad for the fictional “most interesting man in the world.” Get an earful of the 87-year-old icon’s stylings next Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. when he plays the MACC’s Castle Theater with his daughter Antonia Bennett . As for the title...

Feral Cats Weigh in on “Feral Cat Problem” (Maui Now) Sep10

Feral Cats Weigh in ...

WARNING: SATIRE… MOSTLY. Most of this is utter nonsense, but some of it near the end is actually founded in fact. By Vanessa Wolf A public forum focusing on issues surrounding feral cats and chickens on Maui is planned for tomorrow night. With respect to the issues at hand, Mayor Arakawa...

Monsanto Attempts Bold PR Move (Maui Now) Sep01

Monsanto Attempts Bo...

WARNING: SATIRE. The following is intended to give you a break from the heave ho that is life. For the most part, if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t. By Vanessa Wolf The multinational biotechnology corporation often makes worldwide headlines for its Roundup brand, an herbicide that...

Bouts of Common Sense Seize Residents, Visitors (Maui Now) Aug13

Bouts of Common Sens...

WARNING: Satire. By Vanessa Wolf “I don’t know how to describe it,” she explained, visibly shaken, “but I suddenly realized: jumping off this thing is incredibly stupid. I mean, we’re talking a 75-foot leap of faith here. I could cripple myself. Heck, I could DIE.”Despite owning a copy ofMaui...

Tips for Surviving Tropical Storm Flossie (Maui Now) Jul28

Tips for Surviving T...

WARNING: satire By Vanessa Wolf Sources report she has chosen the form of a middle-aged woman with a beehive hairdo. It’s unclear whether or not she is wearing glasses on a chain around her neck or just an unusual blouse.Over the warm waters of the eastern Pacific Ocean, Tropical Storm...

Brian Regan Shares the Real Reason He Became a Comedian (Maui Now) Jun09

Brian Regan Shares t...

Clean-cut, family friendly comedian Brian Regan will be performing at the MACC on Saturday, June 29 at 8:30 p.m. Known for material that explores the humorous side of everyday events like shipping a package with UPS or a visit to an optometrist. Regan’s clean, off-center humor has been...

Ice Cream Truck Fire Sparks Reform Debate (Maui Now) May14

Ice Cream Truck Fire...

Editor’s note: The article below is purely for entertainment purposes. (Although an ice cream delivery truck really did catch fire near Launiupoko on Monday.) What started as a favor to Reuben Mattus, the founder of Haagen-Dazs, melted down yesterday morning in frozen confection flames, as...

Resident Hell-Bent on Paia Earning No. 1 “Happiest” Title (Maui Now) May09

Resident Hell-Bent o...

This is where you can put the disclaimers that none of this is real, not that it will do any good. (Thanks, that’ll work. -Ed.) Having learned that Paia was voted “Eighth Happiest Seaside Town in America,” resident and trust-fund baby Stephan Higgs became incensed. “Eighth place isn’t...

Gift Ideas for the Tree in Your Life (Maui Now) Apr21

Gift Ideas for the T...

Seems the Lahaina Banyan Tree is about to turn 140. How do we know this? Well, legend has it the tree was originally planted by the sheriff on April 24th, 1873 to mark the 50th anniversary of the establishment of the Protestant Mission in Lahaina. But is that really the “birth” of the tree?...

Restraining Order Names Humpback Whale (Maui Now) Mar31

Restraining Order Na...

Oh, how we pray you will read this part before diving into the sea of words below and realize THIS IS NOT TRUE AND MEANT IN FUN. Court records indicate Charles “Chip” Carlson has filed a restraining order against a migratory humpback whale currently believed to be residing off the west coast...

Hawaii Secrets Revealed to the Chinese… Revealed (Maui Now) Mar26

Hawaii Secrets Revea...

Just a little amuse bouche for your brain. In other words, this is satire intended to entertain, thus its location in the arts and entertainment section. Last week, the US Attorney’s Office announced that a former US Army officer living in Hawaii had been charged with disclosing classified...

Experimental Spam Flavors in Limited Maui Release (Maui Now) Mar18

Experimental Spam Fl...

But if this were true. It isn’t. We wish it were true, but it’s really just a little Arts and Entertainment piece that you will hopefully find entertaining or at least slightly amusing. Special thanks to my dad and his mad Photoshop skillz. Hawaii loves Spam. Although made in the Midwest,...

Top Reasons Not to Rob Pukalani’s First Hawaiian Bank (Maui Now) Mar12

Top Reasons Not to R...

It’s been almost a month since someone last robbed the First Hawaiian Bank in Pukalani. We bet there are a few of you out there thinking “third time’s the charm” and possibly considering your own hit. Sure, you have a dirt bike and some camouflage pants. Perhaps your lady has been whining...

Wind Farm Electric Savings as Invisible as the Wind (Maui Now) Mar06

Wind Farm Electric S...

From the mind of Donavita Quixota-Wolf: Sorry to bother you, but I’m in the midst of a great adventure: spreading chivalry, righting wrongs, and slaying beasts. There’s something terrible here amongst us, and I need to gather others to the cause. I think you can help. So here’s the story: I...

Plans Foiled for Band of Mischief-Making Chickens (Maui Now) Mar03

Plans Foiled for Ban...

The confirmation that the February 26 power outage at the Kahului Airport was caused by a chicken found inside a transformer in the rental car area validated investigators’ worst fears. A spokesperson commented, “For several months now, there has been talk of a renegade band of...

Rejected Slogans for $500K Hawaiian Marketing Blitz (Maui Now) Feb27

Rejected Slogans for...

The Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau (HVCB) recently launched a month-long marketing blitz in New York and Chicago, two of its largest markets, both of which they identified as being on the “East Coast” even though the one that starts with a “C” is actually in the Midwest. Seriously....

10 Signs the Bamboo Forest Isn’t for You (Maui Now) Feb19

10 Signs the Bamboo ...

Once again, dear friends, this has been posted in “Entertainment,” which is to say it’s meant to entertain you.   Yet again, the airlift crews have been called out to the Bamboo Forest. We’re not judging the whos, whats, hows or whys of that situation, but it did seem like good timing to...

Top 10 (Terrible) Tips for Doing Taxes in Hawaii (Maui Now) Feb17

Top 10 (Terrible) Ti...

You are not an accountant. Nonetheless, despite your pledges that THIS is the year you hire a pro, there you are on April 15th: installing TurboTax, sweating bullets, rifling through mountains of paper, and drinking heavily. We’ve been there. More than once. However, our pain is your gain. We...

Totally Useless Testimony in the Kihei Malls Case (Maui Now) Feb12

Totally Useless Test...

Phil G. 250 affordable housing units!? We can’t have that. Absolutely not. It’s a bait and switch if I’ve ever seen one. Let me paint the picture:  do you know what they mean by ‘affordable’? They mean “projects.” You heard me right: projects. I have an inside source who has tipped me off,...

Dear “Steven Tyler Act”… Love, Paparazzi (Maui Now) Feb06

Dear “Steven Tyler A...

***Editor’s note: this article is purely satirical and in response to a Maui senator’s proposed law to enable celebrities to take civil action against the paparazzi or anyone harassing them in Hawaii (roughly speaking). That proposed law is called the Steven Tyler Act. And no, Vanessa Wolf is...

“Why Weed Is Good” (Maui Now) Feb03

“Why Weed Is Good” (...

First off, let me say I’m not just some jerk with a lot of opinions about whether or not marijuana should be legalized, or given away as a free gift when you open a bank account, or smoked in movie theaters, or put on the flag in the place of those little stars. Well, I am saying that, but I...

Top 10 Excuses for Being in the Ceiling of a Police Station (Maui Now) Jan29

Top 10 Excuses for B...

**Editor’s note: This article is based on yesterday’s story about a woman who was arrested after falling through the ceiling of Kihei Police Station.** It’s always alarming when someone unexpectedly crashes through the ceiling of a police station, and we sincerely hope everything works out...

Visiting Comedian Margaret Cho Shares Her “Functional Illiteracy” (Maui Now) Jan27

Visiting Comedian Ma...

Award-winning comedian Margaret Cho is bringing her new show “Mother,” to Maui’s Castle Theater on Friday, Feb. 8. We talked to the often controversial and always funny comedian about her show, her childhood aspirations, and what she’d order for a last meal. Maui Now: So your new show is...

“Super Disappointing” Time Capsule Unearthed in Kihei (Maui Now) Jan24

“Super Disappointing...

*BEFORE READING:* Nothing about this story is true, unlike the recent story about the time capsule that was discovered under the old Wailuku Post Office (1/22/2013). Ralph and Louise Tanaka of South Kihei were shocked to discover a time capsule underneath the dilapidated shed outside their...

Dear Would-Be Olowalu to Iao Hiker (Maui Now) Jan22

Dear Would-Be Olowal...

Dear Would-Be Olowalu to Iao Valley Hiker, It has come to our attention that you keep trying this, despite the preponderance of words like “certain death,” “impossible,” “beyond stupid,” and “Darwin Awards.” Speaking of which, we can’t help but wonder if the ancient Hawaiians started the tale...

Sheldon Simeon Among Finalists in TV’s ‘Top Chef’ (Maui Now) Jan22

Sheldon Simeon Among...

Maui Chef Sheldon Simeon of Star Noodle in Lahaina continues to shine on Bravo’s Top Chef, not just for his culinary prowess, but for his undeniable and seemingly unflappable sweetness and charm. The season started on Nov. 7 with 24 hopeful “cheftestants” and is now down to just six chefs...

Toubab Krewe to Bring Bizarre Instruments to Maui (Maui Now) Jan20

Toubab Krewe to Brin...

Toubab Krewe is an instrumental group known for creating music that blends together American rock, African traditions, jam sensibilities, and international folk sounds. The group’s instruments include a kora (21-string harp-lute), kamelengoni (12-string harp-lute), soku (Malian horsehair...

“Descendants” Author Kaui Hart Hemmings Discusses Books, Maui (Maui Now) Jan15

“Descendants” Author...

Hawaii-born Kaui Hart Hemmings, author of “The Descendants,” will be on Maui this weekend as a keynote speaker at the first annual Aloha Writers Conference in Kapalua. “The Descendants” focuses on Matthew King, a wealthy Hawaiian land trust administrator. His missionary ancestors purchased...

Rachel DeBoer Talks UltraViolets, TEDxMaui (Maui Now) Jan12

Rachel DeBoer Talks ...

Maui-based actress, body painter, Next Level Productions owner, and UltraViolets burlesque troupe creator Rachel DeBoer is nothing if not versatile. She performs with the UltraViolets as part of tomorrow’s TEDxMaui event, and took a little time to talk with us about who she is, how she got...

Badass Nicknames and Maui Roller Girls (Maui Now) Jan08

Badass Nicknames and...

Vanessa Wolf is fond of her front teeth, but after learning she’s unlikely to lose them, she may very well give this roller-skating thing a shot. By Vanessa Wolf This Sunday at 3 p.m. at the Kahului Boys and Girls Club, the Maui Roller Girls are recruiting for their 2013 season and no skating...

Singer/Songwriter Mat Kearney Talks Crazed Fans (Maui Now) Jan06

Singer/Songwriter Ma...

Oregon-raised, Nashville-based singer-songwriter Mat Kearney plays the MACC on Friday, January 18. Best known for his songs “Ships in the Night,” “Nothing Left to Lose,” and “Breathe In Breathe Out,” Kearney took a little time after picking his parents up at the Nashville airport to talk to...

Bill Maher Proposes Eating Newt Gingrich (Maui Now) Dec23

Bill Maher Proposes ...

Stand-up comedian, political commentator, and television host Bill Maher performs next Tuesday, Jan. 1 at the MACC. We discovered a slightly more lighthearted side of the acerbic host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, when we talked to him about elephants, time travel, and really bad...

Eat Like the First Family: Recipes (Maui Now) Nov09

Eat Like the First F...

It’s Veteran’s Day Sunday! Cook up some food, sit down at the table, and force the youngsters to listen as you reminisce about the war. Fresh out of battlefield tales? Celebrate another four years with Hawaii’s own Barack Obama at the helm by cooking up some of his family’s favorites. Barack...

Eyeball, Severed Finger, Brain Hemorrhage…Recipes!? (MauiNow.com) Oct31

Eyeball, Severed Fin...

Any holiday celebrating the dead – and particularly the undead – is (hopefully) intrinsically gory. Why stop at costumes and decorations, when your food can be gross too! Spice up dinner or your neighborhood get-together with these easy, entertaining, Halloween-themed additions from Maui Now....

Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas (MauiNow.com) Oct30

Last-Minute Hallowee...

Realizing you have Halloween plans…but nothing to wear? Have no fear: throwing together an awesome last-minute costume has never been easier. We took the liberty of turning to the best sources of fodder for Halloween ideas – pop culture, hit films, and embarrassing political moments – to...

Artist Jefferson Stillwell Creates Contagious Fun (MauiNow.com) Oct21

Artist Jefferson Sti...

“When dealing with aliens, I gave them everything ?except the kitchen sink.” This is how artist Jefferson Stillwell summarizes his painting; “Aliens Want My Donut.” Stillwell arrived here on Maui eight years ago. “The island breezes, the colors of the water, the smell of the air: it was...

Maui Lei Artist Teaches Hands-on History (MauiNow.com) Oct14

Maui Lei Artist Teac...

Within a few days, most leis have withered into something rather sad-looking. Not so with the feather-based creations done by Pattie Hanna and her students. Those students took  home nearly a dozen blue ribbons at the 90th annual Maui county fair, it is clear Hanna’s goal is coming to...

Maui Artist Profile: Tattoo Artist Rachel Helmich (MauiNow.com) Oct07

Maui Artist Profile:...

Rachel Helmich of the Maui Tattoo Company started tattooing in 2001, when her then-boyfriend – now husband – approached her and asked if she wanted to learn. “I’d graduated from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, and had enrolled in an engineering program.” Helmich explained. “We’d gotten to...

Maui Artist Profile: Author Emily O’Neil Bott (MauiNow.com) Sep16

Maui Artist Profile:...

For her 90th birthday, Emily O’Neil Bott reversed traditions. She gave a present to her children: a copy of her book, SILVER STREAK REVISITED. The slim volume contains some of her columns, which ran in The Haleakala Times over the years and recounted the adventures and misadventures of a life...