King’s BBQ & Chinese Restaurant Surprises (Maui Now) Nov01

King’s BBQ & Ch...

Back in fourth grade, we had a major crush on a boy named Robbie Knowles. He was an odd little dude who regularly did a spot-on monkey impression for no apparent reason. It was strictly a “longing from afar” kind of thing that was forced into suppression when a close friend wrote an a capella...

A Tale of Two Sushi – Nuka & Wayne’s (Maui Now) Oct25

A Tale of Two Sushi ...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of yoga studios, it was the age of kombucha, it was the epoch of composting, it was the epoch of GMOs, it was the season of avocados, it was the season of star fruit, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,...

A Talk With Legendary Blues Musician Keb’ Mo’ (Maui Now) Oct13

A Talk With Legendar...

Blues artist Kevin Moore, or Keb’ Mo’ as he’s more commonly known, is a three-time Grammy Award-winning blues musician. The singer, guitarist, and songwriter is described in his JamBase biography as “a living link to the seminal Delta blues that travelled up the Mississippi River and across...

808 Deli’s Got a Sandwich With Your Name On It (Maui Now) Sep27

808 Deli’s Got a San...

Bitch, make me a sandwich. This is absolutely not something you should ever say to the lovely lady taking your order behind the counter at the 808 Deli, largely because she is not the one doing the actual sandwich making. Plus, she just called you “hon” and seems to be a nice person, and your...

JB’s Could Put You On the Fast Track to Obesity (Maui Now) Sep20

JB’s Could Put You O...

In honor in this weekend’s 43rd Maui Marathon, let’s talk about a different kind of endurance. You don’t just show up at JB’s Kitchen in Wailuku. It’s more like something you need to condition for at spring training. Materials you’ll need: Elastic waistband pants, preferably in dark colors....

Feral Cats Weigh in on “Feral Cat Problem” (Maui Now) Sep10

Feral Cats Weigh in ...

WARNING: SATIRE… MOSTLY. Most of this is utter nonsense, but some of it near the end is actually founded in fact. By Vanessa Wolf A public forum focusing on issues surrounding feral cats and chickens on Maui is planned for tomorrow night. With respect to the issues at hand, Mayor Arakawa...

Like Poke? Just Might Make You Love Poke (Maui Now) Aug09

Like Poke? Just Migh...

Like a lone revolutionary, Like Poke? stands out against the rusty landscape on a daunting stretch of Hobron Avenue, shunning crowds and convention and defying you to continue to drive around as a growing conviction in you says you’ve made a wrong turn. You haven’t. Still, unless you’re a...

Tips for Surviving Tropical Storm Flossie (Maui Now) Jul28

Tips for Surviving T...

WARNING: satire By Vanessa Wolf Sources report she has chosen the form of a middle-aged woman with a beehive hairdo. It’s unclear whether or not she is wearing glasses on a chain around her neck or just an unusual blouse.Over the warm waters of the eastern Pacific Ocean, Tropical Storm...

Sansei Offers a Galaxy of Sushi Options (Maui Now) Jul26

Sansei Offers a Gala...

A weekend late night institution, if you’ve ever been to Sansei after 10 p.m. you developed a whole new appreciation for drunken karaoke performances. But we’ll get to that. The Boom Boom Pow? Sansei is a sushi Mecca. Yes, they have grilled fish, salads and some appetizer-y items, but if you...

Chez Meme Baguette Bistro: Le Sigh (Maui Now) Jun30

Chez Meme Baguette B...

If you’ve ever looked out the window while getting  your tires rotated in Kihei, you may have noticed a cute little house across the street. That’s Chez Meme Baguette Bistro, a delightfully renovated space with a dynamite view of the Goodyear Tire store. What was once a modest little cottage...

Stewart’s Burgers Offers Burgers, Burgers, Mo Burgers (Maui Now) Jun14

Stewart’s Burgers Of...

Stewart’s Burgers currently occupies the spot that used to be Fat Boy Burgers (and before that was a fish and chips place) in the Kukui Mall on South Kihei Road. It also seems to have stuck with Fat Boy’s same lots o’ burgers with clever names a la carte state of affairs. But whatever. It’s...

Five Palms: All That and a Bowl of Chips (Maui Now) Jun07

Five Palms: All That...

If you like your happy hours crowded with options and other people, Five Palms Beach Grill in the Mana Kai Condo building in South Kihei will likely put a smile on your face. The desirable prime time happy hour seating area by the bar fills up fast and stays that way. Expect service to be...

Choice Health Bar May Blow Your Mind (Maui Now) May31

Choice Health Bar Ma...

Alright stop whatcha doin’ ’cause I’m about to ruin The image and the style that ya used to. Was Shock G foreshadowing the existence of this acai bowl – aptly named “the O.G.” – when he uttered these words back in 1990? Obviously, the answer to that question is “yes.” If you are a person who...

Ice Cream Truck Fire Sparks Reform Debate (Maui Now) May14

Ice Cream Truck Fire...

Editor’s note: The article below is purely for entertainment purposes. (Although an ice cream delivery truck really did catch fire near Launiupoko on Monday.) What started as a favor to Reuben Mattus, the founder of Haagen-Dazs, melted down yesterday morning in frozen confection flames, as...

Ko May Bestow You With Super Powers (Maui Now) May10

Ko May Bestow You Wi...

If you have ever wondered what it would be like to be invisible, grab a seat at the bar at Ko at the Fairmont Kea Lani and find out. It could be unfailing bad luck. It could be that the kama’aina deal (50% off food and 25% off drinks) is only offered at the bar and some sort of “you get what...

Mama’s Ribs and Rotisserie: This Ain’t Memphis (Maui Now) May03

Mama’s Ribs and Roti...

This isn’t Kansas City, the Carolinas or any part of Texas, either. Try to get some collards, hushpuppies, or sweet potato pie, and you’ll quickly realize this is Maui. That stated, Mama’s Ribs and Rotisserie in both Napili and Kihei proudly presents another one of those “pretty good…for...

Archie’s: Unchanged After All These Years (Maui Now) Apr19

Archie’s: Unchanged ...

Drive by Archie’s in Wailuku between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. and witness the full lot. What’s going on in that nondescript concrete building? What do these patrons know that you don’t? And can it be appreciated if you aren’t already a seeming insider? Archie’s is like an irascible old man that you...

Restraining Order Names Humpback Whale (Maui Now) Mar31

Restraining Order Na...

Oh, how we pray you will read this part before diving into the sea of words below and realize THIS IS NOT TRUE AND MEANT IN FUN. Court records indicate Charles “Chip” Carlson has filed a restraining order against a migratory humpback whale currently believed to be residing off the west coast...

Hawaii Secrets Revealed to the Chinese… Revealed (Maui Now) Mar26

Hawaii Secrets Revea...

Just a little amuse bouche for your brain. In other words, this is satire intended to entertain, thus its location in the arts and entertainment section. Last week, the US Attorney’s Office announced that a former US Army officer living in Hawaii had been charged with disclosing classified...

Ohana Karaoke Cafe’s Authentic Korean Food (Maui Now) Mar23

Ohana Karaoke Cafe’s...

If you like Korean food, Ohana Karaoke Cafe & Grill Go Hyang Jip in Wailuku is – for the most part – a real find. Despite its hole-in-the-wall exterior, it’s actually tastefully decorated and quite new-looking inside. Don’t be surprised to find that most of the clientele is Korean and...

Experimental Spam Flavors in Limited Maui Release (Maui Now) Mar18

Experimental Spam Fl...

But if this were true. It isn’t. We wish it were true, but it’s really just a little Arts and Entertainment piece that you will hopefully find entertaining or at least slightly amusing. Special thanks to my dad and his mad Photoshop skillz. Hawaii loves Spam. Although made in the Midwest,...

Top Reasons Not to Rob Pukalani’s First Hawaiian Bank (Maui Now) Mar12

Top Reasons Not to R...

It’s been almost a month since someone last robbed the First Hawaiian Bank in Pukalani. We bet there are a few of you out there thinking “third time’s the charm” and possibly considering your own hit. Sure, you have a dirt bike and some camouflage pants. Perhaps your lady has been whining...

Wind Farm Electric Savings as Invisible as the Wind (Maui Now) Mar06

Wind Farm Electric S...

From the mind of Donavita Quixota-Wolf: Sorry to bother you, but I’m in the midst of a great adventure: spreading chivalry, righting wrongs, and slaying beasts. There’s something terrible here amongst us, and I need to gather others to the cause. I think you can help. So here’s the story: I...

Plans Foiled for Band of Mischief-Making Chickens (Maui Now) Mar03

Plans Foiled for Ban...

The confirmation that the February 26 power outage at the Kahului Airport was caused by a chicken found inside a transformer in the rental car area validated investigators’ worst fears. A spokesperson commented, “For several months now, there has been talk of a renegade band of...

Ramen Ya: the Good, the Bad, the Greasy (Maui Now) Feb22

Ramen Ya: the Good, ...

Dining at Ramen Ya in the Queen K mall started off a little more like a double-dog dare than a promising enterprise. Ominous phrases like “noodles in dirty dishwater,” and “it’s a carb carnival and the protein isn’t invited” were tossed about, proving the dare-makers aren’t just mean… they’re...

10 Signs the Bamboo Forest Isn’t for You (Maui Now) Feb19

10 Signs the Bamboo ...

Once again, dear friends, this has been posted in “Entertainment,” which is to say it’s meant to entertain you.   Yet again, the airlift crews have been called out to the Bamboo Forest. We’re not judging the whos, whats, hows or whys of that situation, but it did seem like good timing to...

Totally Useless Testimony in the Kihei Malls Case (Maui Now) Feb12

Totally Useless Test...

Phil G. 250 affordable housing units!? We can’t have that. Absolutely not. It’s a bait and switch if I’ve ever seen one. Let me paint the picture:  do you know what they mean by ‘affordable’? They mean “projects.” You heard me right: projects. I have an inside source who has tipped me off,...

Dear “Steven Tyler Act”… Love, Paparazzi (Maui Now) Feb06

Dear “Steven Tyler A...

***Editor’s note: this article is purely satirical and in response to a Maui senator’s proposed law to enable celebrities to take civil action against the paparazzi or anyone harassing them in Hawaii (roughly speaking). That proposed law is called the Steven Tyler Act. And no, Vanessa Wolf is...

“Why Weed Is Good” (Maui Now) Feb03

“Why Weed Is Good” (...

First off, let me say I’m not just some jerk with a lot of opinions about whether or not marijuana should be legalized, or given away as a free gift when you open a bank account, or smoked in movie theaters, or put on the flag in the place of those little stars. Well, I am saying that, but I...

Kono’s on the Green: Wow (Maui Now) Feb01

Kono’s on the Green:...

When you dine at Kono’s on the Green, one word of exclamation comes to mind: wow. But not always in a good way. Let’s start with the good wow moments first. For one, the view is to die for. Situated above the stunning Elleair Golf Course, it’s nothing but lush green grass and water traps as...

Top 10 Excuses for Being in the Ceiling of a Police Station (Maui Now) Jan29

Top 10 Excuses for B...

**Editor’s note: This article is based on yesterday’s story about a woman who was arrested after falling through the ceiling of Kihei Police Station.** It’s always alarming when someone unexpectedly crashes through the ceiling of a police station, and we sincerely hope everything works out...

Sheiks: $3 Hamburgers Do Exist (Maui Now) Jan25

Sheiks: $3 Hamburger...

If you have ever lamented to a friend, “Why isn’t there a restaurant where I can plop down at the table of my choice, be greeted in a friendly manner, and receive a $3 hamburger five minutes later?” then you are not alone. If you thought that $3 full-service restaurant hamburger fantasy was...

“Super Disappointing” Time Capsule Unearthed in Kihei (Maui Now) Jan24

“Super Disappointing...

*BEFORE READING:* Nothing about this story is true, unlike the recent story about the time capsule that was discovered under the old Wailuku Post Office (1/22/2013). Ralph and Louise Tanaka of South Kihei were shocked to discover a time capsule underneath the dilapidated shed outside their...

Dear Would-Be Olowalu to Iao Hiker (Maui Now) Jan22

Dear Would-Be Olowal...

Dear Would-Be Olowalu to Iao Valley Hiker, It has come to our attention that you keep trying this, despite the preponderance of words like “certain death,” “impossible,” “beyond stupid,” and “Darwin Awards.” Speaking of which, we can’t help but wonder if the ancient Hawaiians started the tale...

Hali’imaile General Store: Not Feeling the Love (Maui Now) Jan11

Hali’imaile General ...

Bev Gannon’s Hali’imaile General Store is something of a legend on this island. First off, there is pretty much nothing to see or do whatsoever in Hali’imaile, so the mere fact that visitors and locals have trekked up there for decades surely counts for something. Secondarily, it has not one,...

Bill Maher Proposes Eating Newt Gingrich (Maui Now) Dec23

Bill Maher Proposes ...

Stand-up comedian, political commentator, and television host Bill Maher performs next Tuesday, Jan. 1 at the MACC. We discovered a slightly more lighthearted side of the acerbic host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, when we talked to him about elephants, time travel, and really bad...

Ferraro’s Location Outshines the Food (Maui Now) Dec14

Ferraro’s Location O...

Ferraro’s Bar e Risorante at the Four Seasons is the real estate agent’s dream: location, location, location. It may take a few days, but once you secure your sunset-timed table reservation, you can look forward to being seated on an open patio just 100 yards from the water. The setting is...

Isana Restaurant Disappoints (Maui Now) Nov23

Isana Restaurant Dis...

Have you ever raved about a new love to everyone you know? Then the day comes that you introduce them to friends and family, confident in the presumption that they will fall equally hard …and everything – inexplicably – goes so very, very wrong? Have you ever shown that same new love off to...

Leoda’s Pie Shop: More Than Just Sweets (Maui Now) Nov16

Leoda’s Pie Shop: Mo...

Let’s get one thing out of the way first: Leoda’s ain’t cheap. If you are accustomed to a $9 pie feeding four, six or even eight people, well, better hope those people have anorexia. But while the pies sold at Leoda’s Kitchen and Pie Shop are pricey…with the high cost of admission comes a...

In Memorium: Maui Ar...

Local musician and Ulalena cast member Anthony Natividad died unexpectedly last Sunday, October 28th, a week and a half after this interview was conducted. He was an influential and beloved member of this community and will be missed. A handmade traditional Hawaiian nose flute is placed...

Da Puerto Rican Food Truck Offers Unique Eats (MauiNow.com) Oct19

Da Puerto Rican Food...

There are a vast number of culinary influences here on Maui. Those familiar with Hawaii Regional Cuisine know it honors the blend of cultures that originally settled this land: Polynesian, Chinese, Japanese, American, Portuguese, Korean, and Filipino predominantly. Puerto Rican food isn’t...

Allez Cuisine! Judging “Battle Adobo” (MauiNow.com) Oct16

Allez Cuisine! Judgi...

If you’ve ever watched – or joined a 12-step program to address your addiction to – Top Chef, Iron Chef, or Chopped, chances are you’ve wished you could be one of the judges. You are not alone. Happily, my dream finally came true. Don’t be hating, but it turns out the role is as awesome –...

Maui Lei Artist Teaches Hands-on History (MauiNow.com) Oct14

Maui Lei Artist Teac...

Within a few days, most leis have withered into something rather sad-looking. Not so with the feather-based creations done by Pattie Hanna and her students. Those students took  home nearly a dozen blue ribbons at the 90th annual Maui county fair, it is clear Hanna’s goal is coming to...

To Eat or Not To Eat At Joe’s (MauiNow.com) Oct05

To Eat or Not To Eat...

If the sight of the Joe’s waiter dropping off a steak knife for the chicken and waffles didn’t serve as a warning, the accompanying “you’re going to need this” probably should have. KFC doesn’t give out heavy-duty cutlery. In fact, one can usually can get by with just a plastic spork. So why...

Beach Bums in Ma’alaea: Better Than You May Realize (MauiNow.com) Sep26

Beach Bums in Ma’ala...

If you have written Beach Bums in Ma’alaea off as just another tourist trap: reconsider. Sure, it’s full of sunburned people fresh off snorkeling boats and whale watching tours. Yes, 80s tunes blare day and night, and they sell $20 t-shirts with “Beach” printed on the front and “Bums” on the,...

Maui Now Cooks: Pineapple Grill’s Steamed Manila Clams (MauiNow.com) Sep18

Maui Now Cooks: Pine...

Per our offer to track down a beloved recipe for you,  B.K. In Lahaina wrote in, “I have been savoring and dreaming of Pineapple Grill’s Steamed Manila Clams ever since I first tried them.  I admit, I was apprehensive at first, I normally DO NOT like clams, but just one bite and you’ll see...

A New Cheeseburger in Paradise: Sure Thing Burger (MauiNow.com) Sep11

A New Cheeseburger i...

Sure Thing Burger in Lahaina is tucked back about halfway in the Lahaina Marketplace on Front Street. Is it a sure thing? Well, most of the time the Sure Thing Burger ($8) is darn good – if a little bit tiny for the price tag. Fresh and moist, the Grass Fed Maui Beef is perfectly seasoned and...

Tiffany’s Bar and Grill, the Best of Local Kine Food (MauiNow.com) Sep07

Tiffany’s Bar and Gr...

Five words come to your mind: I WISH I WAS DRUNK. Not because the food is bad, but because it’s that good and – possibly, probably – even better with beer; lots of beer. Happily, Tiffany’s Bar and Grill in Wailuku can set you up there as well. In addition to the delicious and vast local style...

All You Can Curry – Monsoon India’s Buffet (MauiNow.com) Aug24

All You Can Curry – ...

Indian food lovers rejoice! Maui finally has an all-you-can-eat Indian buffet. Granted, it’s only on Sundays from 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and yes, you’ll pay about twice what you might on the mainland…but hey, it’s Maui, and that’s how we roll ($17.95 per person, although adventurous eaters...

Duo Offering Their Raw Bar Seven Days a Week (Mauinow.com) Aug16

Duo Offering Their R...

If there is a heaven, the food may very well be prepared by Duo in the Four Seasons Wailea. The all-you-can-eat raw bar ($69) features three to five types of raw oysters, ceviche, poke, shrimp, snow crab claws, Alaskan King crab, and even Kona lobster. Typically only offered Thursday through...