Lahaina Grill, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. La-hi-na: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the roof. La. Hi. Na. Grill. Founded in 1994, Lahaina Grill is no nubile underage temptress. Almost old enough to drink, she...
Bill Maher Talks Shy...
posted by Vanessa
Love him or hate him, outspoken political comedian Bill Maher returns to Maui for his third annual show this January 1, 2014. We caught up with him to chat about his past, politics and pakalolo. Maui Now: The last we met, I had an outstanding view of your rear end as you were running from me...
Boz Scaggs Returns t...
posted by Vanessa
Boz Scaggs, a man we thought had a long white beard like Gandalf but apparently does n0t, will be playing a solo show at the MACC’s Castle Theater this Thursday, Nov. 14 at 7:30 p.m. Scaggs is described by promoters as “both a musical seeker and a man of sizable talent as a singer, songwriter...
Local Activists Plan...
posted by Vanessa
As a thick layer of vog continues to plague Maui, a group of local residents opposed to the pollution have organized a sign-waving event to raise awareness about their plight. “This has got to stop,” said watery-eyed Kihei resident Susan Johnston. “I can barely breathe, I get horrible...
Last-Minute Super Ch...
posted by Vanessa
Procrastinators, take heart. Just because tomorrow is Halloween and you don’t have a costume, doesn’t mean you can’t come through in the final hours. We have five simple, semi-timely and super cheap DIY ideas for you. 1. 50 Shades of Gray Head to Home Depot, Lowes, or the paint section of...
A Tale of Two Sushi ...
posted by Vanessa
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of yoga studios, it was the age of kombucha, it was the epoch of composting, it was the epoch of GMOs, it was the season of avocados, it was the season of star fruit, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,...
A Talk With Legendar...
posted by Vanessa
Blues artist Kevin Moore, or Keb’ Mo’ as he’s more commonly known, is a three-time Grammy Award-winning blues musician. The singer, guitarist, and songwriter is described in his JamBase biography as “a living link to the seminal Delta blues that travelled up the Mississippi River and across...
Whales Outraged Over...
posted by Vanessa
Reports indicate that area whales were outraged to learn that a recently migrated humpback known as “Skippy” was spotted on Saturday morning, gallivanting about two miles from Molokini. Upon hearing the news, one particularly incensed whale was overheard commenting, “Skippy screwed up...
Tony Bennett Is the ...
posted by Vanessa
By Vanessa Wolf Tony Bennett is not only real, he can croon. Too bad for the fictional “most interesting man in the world.” Get an earful of the 87-year-old icon’s stylings next Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. when he plays the MACC’s Castle Theater with his daughter Antonia Bennett . As for the title...
Feral Cats Weigh in ...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: SATIRE… MOSTLY. Most of this is utter nonsense, but some of it near the end is actually founded in fact. By Vanessa Wolf A public forum focusing on issues surrounding feral cats and chickens on Maui is planned for tomorrow night. With respect to the issues at hand, Mayor Arakawa...
Monsanto Attempts Bo...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: SATIRE. The following is intended to give you a break from the heave ho that is life. For the most part, if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t. By Vanessa Wolf The multinational biotechnology corporation often makes worldwide headlines for its Roundup brand, an herbicide that...
Bouts of Common Sens...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: Satire. By Vanessa Wolf “I don’t know how to describe it,” she explained, visibly shaken, “but I suddenly realized: jumping off this thing is incredibly stupid. I mean, we’re talking a 75-foot leap of faith here. I could cripple myself. Heck, I could DIE.”Despite owning a copy ofMaui...
Tips for Surviving T...
posted by Vanessa
WARNING: satire By Vanessa Wolf Sources report she has chosen the form of a middle-aged woman with a beehive hairdo. It’s unclear whether or not she is wearing glasses on a chain around her neck or just an unusual blouse.Over the warm waters of the eastern Pacific Ocean, Tropical Storm...
Stewart’s Burgers Of...
posted by Vanessa
Stewart’s Burgers currently occupies the spot that used to be Fat Boy Burgers (and before that was a fish and chips place) in the Kukui Mall on South Kihei Road. It also seems to have stuck with Fat Boy’s same lots o’ burgers with clever names a la carte state of affairs. But whatever. It’s...
Brian Regan Shares t...
posted by Vanessa
Clean-cut, family friendly comedian Brian Regan will be performing at the MACC on Saturday, June 29 at 8:30 p.m. Known for material that explores the humorous side of everyday events like shipping a package with UPS or a visit to an optometrist. Regan’s clean, off-center humor has been...
Five Palms: All That...
posted by Vanessa
If you like your happy hours crowded with options and other people, Five Palms Beach Grill in the Mana Kai Condo building in South Kihei will likely put a smile on your face. The desirable prime time happy hour seating area by the bar fills up fast and stays that way. Expect service to be...
Choice Health Bar Ma...
posted by Vanessa
Alright stop whatcha doin’ ’cause I’m about to ruin The image and the style that ya used to. Was Shock G foreshadowing the existence of this acai bowl – aptly named “the O.G.” – when he uttered these words back in 1990? Obviously, the answer to that question is “yes.” If you are a person who...
Wow Wee Maui Kava Ba...
posted by Vanessa
If lots and lots of words made a restaurant excellent, well, disregard, because that’s obviously silly. Let’s start with the good news: the “Ren’s Sushi” part of the alphabet soup is really quite solid, filling in a notable gap in Kahului dining options. The location on Dairy Road is...
Saigon Seafood: You ...
posted by Vanessa
Let’s set the scene, shall we? It’s early November. You’re not in a good head space. You want to stay in bed but you’ve made a commitment to meet with a celebrity chef to discuss a potential project. Your mind a whirl, you don’t notice many details as said chef drives you to a little hole in...
Ice Cream Truck Fire...
posted by Vanessa
Editor’s note: The article below is purely for entertainment purposes. (Although an ice cream delivery truck really did catch fire near Launiupoko on Monday.) What started as a favor to Reuben Mattus, the founder of Haagen-Dazs, melted down yesterday morning in frozen confection flames, as...